


Love Story In Reverse

by kuri (esmaier)



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Future Fic, M/M, Relationship Study
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-05-22
Packaged: 2018-11-03 15:36:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10970256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/esmaier/pseuds/kuri
Summary: One step at a time





	Love Story In Reverse

**Author's Note:**

> formatting note: [ Gaku's Age/Tenn's Age ]

 

[33/29]

 

The air around them is frigid, the only light a cold blue from the TV monitor.

But the arm down his back and around his waist is warm, and Tenn takes comfort from the heat that radiates through the thin fabric of his shirt, relishing in the press of each of Gaku’s fingers against his hip. He turns his head, nosing against a warm neck, suppressing a small smile as Gaku makes a sound caught halfway between laughter and protest.

Before he can sneakily slip his cold fingers under the hem of Gaku’s shirt, there’s a hand tilting his head up, a mouth on his own and Tenn sighs into the kiss. The movie playing on the screen is long forgotten as they fall back into the soft cushions of the couch, the night lights of New York City glittering through the windows. Their light teasing falls into nothingness, Tenn’s head tucked just under Gaku’s chin, ear to his chest as the older quietly recounts his past week in Paris, telling tales of tall glass ceilings in fancy buildings filled with fancier people. Gaku mentions something quietly, offhandedly about plans for Tenn’s upcoming 30th birthday, but only laughs as Tenn swats at his chest, not wanting to be reminded, yet content to be entering yet another decade with the man he’s grown to love.

And this is something Tenn’s become familiar with, something he doesn’t think he knows how to live without. Years of showbiz passing by in flashes of light and screaming fans, and sometimes Tenn wonders if any of it really happened. But he’s reminded, every time he stands in the airport, lightly disguised in wait for Gaku to return from his latest venture, just how far they’ve come.

 

* * *

 

[30/26]

 

TRIGGER’s ten-year anniversary, from their formation, marks a new change. The event is grand, filled with chaotic days of preparation, every body filled with anticipation for a reunion of the beloved idol group. While the three had never completely left entertainment, there’s something special, something exciting about the three being together once more as TRIGGER.

IDOLiSH7 is there, a guest appearance, which only adds to the chaos.

Tenn almost, almost laughs on stage when he catches sight of one of them with their Summer Island shirt on.

He does laugh when he’s caught completely off guard by Riku throwing himself at Tenn, when the younger Izumi tries (unsuccessfully) to remove Riku by force, when someone in the crowd bursts into the chorus of _Fure Fure!_ and the three are roped into finishing the song with the rest of the audience.

Before he knows it, Tenn is back in his hotel, Gaku already fast asleep next to him as he sits in bed, an arm thrown across Tenn’s lap.

He stares up at the ceiling, taking in the unfamiliar texture, knowing that in less than 24 hours he’ll be in this exact position once more, Gaku’s breath warm on the bare skin of his hip, but in his apartment in New York. And while that itself is nothing new, it’ll mark the second time they’ve moved in together, and Tenn shivers at the thought, feeling almost giddy as he slips down under the covers, tucking himself neatly against Gaku’s slumbering form.

 

* * *

  
  
[28/24]

  

Tenn pursues Broadway. A dream almost forgotten, a dream that faltered under the glamour of being an idol, under the impossibly heavy realisation that he couldn’t just simply walk away from his life in Japan anymore.

 

**———**

 

He remembers fear, hands trembling as he sat at the edge of their bed, Gaku half sprawled on the floor muttering packing lists to himself as he prepared for his next trip. Italy, if Tenn remembered correctly (it wasn’t as if he knew Gaku’s itinerary possibly better than the model himself). It seemed, to Tenn, that hardly any time at all had passed since they’d come together, yet he was well aware that much has changed.

“Tenn,” Gaku’s voice had interrupted his stream of thoughts, and Tenn did a small double take, not having realized when Gaku had come to stand right in front of him. Gaku looked down at him, face impassive before it softened imperceptibly, sitting beside Tenn and pulling Tenn’s hands into his own, kissing along each of his knuckles gently, each action filled with nothing but love.

And Tenn had cracked, blurting out the secret he’d held close for almost a month now, “I’m moving to New York City— to pursue Broadway seriously.” He stumbled over his words, through the lump of fear caught in his throat.

 

Gaku stared impassively at Tenn for a long moment, before he returned to packing, “When do you leave?”

And Tenn had almost started crying then, from the stress of having held a secret from his lover for a month, from the relief that said man had merely brushed it off as if it would change nothing.

 

****———** **

 

And as much as Gaku had pretended that this move wouldn’t affect their relationship, Tenn knows that it was sheer optimism at the time.

Time differences are hard, schedules of professional entertainers are hard, and distance itself is hard. They end up only seeing each other once every few months at best, and Tenn can feel how it wears on them every time he sinks into Gaku’s embrace, and how he has to pull away from it when one of them leaves.

They’re heavily reliant on messaging, on video calls, and while neither of them is particularly fond about this, Tenn catches himself trying to absorb every little detail, every single time, that Gaku stands before him whether it be virtually or in person.

 

**———**

 

While they may not be in the same profession any longer, while they support each other in their new careers where it matters, they still try in the little ways as well.

Tenn doesn’t think he can even count on his fingers anymore how many times he’d flown into fashion hubs of the world just to be able to watch Gaku stride down a runway, then leave that very city, that very country the moment the lights had dimmed for the last time.

It’s harder for Gaku to do the same, to just sneak in and out, but Tenn’s certainly not complaining. To do such a thing just isn’t within Gaku’s style. If anything, Gaku’s presence at his shows brings a certain peace of mind. He had learned performance, and grown into performance, with Gaku at his side.

“Your boyfriend is waiting for you,” comes the lazy drawl from Tenn’s costar of the production, looking incredibly bored as she waits for lock after lock of hair to be curled into perfection. Tenn looks up quickly, almost tripping over his chair in his haste to rush to the back entrance, registering but not bothering to respond to the little glint in his coworker’s eyes. “He’s drawing quite a crowd you know. What a catch~” she teases after Tenn.

Tenn pointedly opts to ignore her, ducking through draping curtains, around set props, to come face to face with Gaku for the first time in over a month. Before Tenn’s not so graceful entrance, it’s obvious a number of the chorus had been fawning over him, perfectly manicured hands resting on his arm, another at his shoulder, and another stopping just before grasping at the curl of silver hair.

Gaku smiles at him, brilliantly and is if everybody else matters no more, a contrast to the stiff suit he wears, the pale pink of his tie almost unnoticeable in the fluorescent lighting of the backstage. But before Tenn can formulate anything to say, Gaku’s already stepping forward, a hand gently settling on his waist, the other ghosting the barest of touches to the mask on Tenn’s face even as security catches sight of them, attention drawn by the small crowd that rapidly disperses.

“Phantom of the Opera, eh? Your stage personality is finally the same as your actual one, you split personality brat,” he says fondly down to Tenn.

Tenn replies loftily, his eyes sharp as they meet silver, “I think I happen to fit the look quite well.”

“And so you do,” is the answer he gets before Gaku’s lifting the edge of his mask as Tenn closes his eyes to press a light kiss to his mouth, and when Tenn opens his eyes again, all he catches is a sliver of Gaku’s coat disappearing through the door to general seating.

 

* * *

 

[ 26/ 22 ]

 

After Gaku’s ACL surgery, he’s confined to a month of bedrest, and well-enforced orders to drastically lighten his workload for months following. The only time he’s allowed to do any substantial amount of work is cleaning up the loose ends that TRIGGER’s sudden retirement brings, and it’s clearly a work he doesn’t enjoy.

On the upside of this all, he temporarily moves into his grandparents home, and can let the comfort of life there envelop him as he watches his only other home, with TRIGGER, come to an end. On the downside, his mother is present, and she not alone likes, but positively _adores_ Tenn.

At first, Gaku had been apprehensive, worried when Tenn declared he was visiting the first time. But there had really been nothing to worry about, not when Tenn had stepped in, all perfectly polite smiles and greetings, and his mother and his grandparents had been taken with him. Later, after Tenn had taken his leave for the evening, Gaku’s mother had settled herself on the edge of his bed, pushing his hair back with gentle hands and fond eyes, stroking down the line of his face before resting lovingly on his chest. “He makes you happy, doesn’t he?” She’d asked, voice as soft as he’d ever heard it.

“He does,” Gaku had answered without thinking, not all that surprised that she’d known even though he had yet to explicitly tell her the nature of his relationship with Tenn.

She’d hummed in response then, smiling as he reached up to grasp at her hand, “You look at him the way your father used to look at me, back when we first got married.”

“It’ll be different from that, I hope,” is all he could manage, even has his hand tightened around her

“I know you’ll make sure it will be,” she said with the utmost confidence, squeezing his hand once before standing to bid him goodnight.

 

**———**

 

After his month of confinement, he's allowed to return to his own apartment, provided someone checks on him regularly. The other two members of TRIGGER create some weird schedule, and Gaku finds that he doesn't go more than a few days without someone bringing lunch, or stopping in after a job.

But as time goes on, he sees less of Ryuu, who quietly begins transitioning to take over the hotel business, but much more of Tenn, who’s over every night he’s not working or out of town.

Gaku doesn’t realize how often Tenn is over until he catches himself one night, waiting for Tenn’s arrival. It’s all downhill after that, from finding sets of mugs in his kitchen cabinets, to realizing Tenn’s massive array of beauty supplies have taken over his bathroom counter. And he finds that really, he doesn’t mind all that much.

 

**———**

 

Gaku watches Tenn get ready for the morning from the couch, hands curled around a mug of tea as he watches Tenn go through his mental checklist of preparation for the day.

“Alright, I’ll see you tonight,” Tenn says easily. “Call me if you need me.”

“Got it,” Gaku replies, feigning the same ease in Tenn’s voice. “Also, catch.”

Tenn startles as Gaku tosses him a small envelope, shock instantly forming into a scowl, “Couldn’t you have asked me to walk the necessary twelve steps to you instead of throwing it at me? At least I still have two functioning legs.”

Gaku can’t help but roll his eyes, ignoring the verbal jab at him, “Just open it.”

And Gaku can’t help but smirk a little as Tenn quickly turns away upon realizing what he has in his hands, a brand new key, silver and gleaming, “You’re here all the time anyways, you might as well just move in.”

“...I’ll see you tonight,” Tenn says again, halfway to the entrance without having turned back to look at Gaku once. “And from now on, I suppose.”

 

 

* * *

 

[ 26/ 22 ]

 

TRIGGER’s retirement is both more chaotic and incredibly unremarkable, all at once. News of their imminent retirement buzzes across media as the masses remain in the dark.

Gaku listens to this all listlessly, staring out the window of the hospital room as the reporter ponders TRIGGER’s future on a news show. The sky outside is gloomy and grey, clouds heavy with rain looming above; but it fits his mood, he thinks.

The click of the door makes him turn his head, scowling a little on reflex when he finds Tenn walking towards him, arms crossed.

“Stop, I don’t want to hear it,” Gaku cuts him off before he can say anything, turning to look back at the sky outside, wondering when it’ll start raining, and even still, hoping Tenn will make it home before the rain begins.

Tenn, as usual, as he has for the last half a decade, ignores him. “How could you be so careless? If you knew that you couldn’t handle it or—”

“I said stop!” Gaku snaps back, “It was an accident. No one could’ve predicted something like this, including me.”

“...You’ll be out of commission for up to a year.”

“I know.”

“Your father is disbanding TRIGGER.”

“I’m sorry.”

———

 

The next time Gaku wakes up, it’s to Ryuu sitting silently at his side, cutting up apples, slicing them into bunnies.

“He stayed the whole night after it happened you know,” Ryuu says quietly, spearing one of the rabbit apple slices with a fork before handing it to Gaku. “Refused to leave this chair.”

This, Gaku does not remember.

Ryuu sighs, and starts eating a slice once Gaku’s taken a bite of his own, “I’ve never seen him so shaken...he could barely reassure the fans and wrap up the concert.”

This, Gaku does remember. Kind of. He remembers slipping, he remembers excruciating pain. He remembers the confusion and the chaos as he’s helped off stage, remembers hearing Tenn’s voice reassuring their fans, his voice tinged with panic invisible to all but those closest to him.

“I’m sorry,” he repeats again, and this time, he’s not really sure to who.

Ryuu pats him on the shoulder sympathetically, as he gets up to take his leave, “I think we all are.”

 

* * *

 

[ 24/20 ]

 

Tenn doesn’t realize when it happens, but more often than not, the three of them gather at Gaku’s apartment. Free nights mean food and alcohol and recounting tales of their separate jobs, laughing at the incredulity of some of the people in the world they work with.

After the first few times, it becomes a normality for him to just stay at Gaku’s, Ryuu opting to travel home if he’s sober enough. He prefers staying at Gaku’s rather than returning to a home either void of life or filled with the tension of Kujou-san’s presence. He knows it’s cowardly of him, and that it’s selfish, but he’s become far too fond of waking up to the sound of clattering in the kitchen as Gaku makes breakfast while he stays drowsily warm under the covers that Gaku had piled on him some time last night.

 

**———**

 

“Travel safe,” both Gaku and Tenn chorus together as they see Ryuu off at the door, and he gives them a cheery wave before disappearing into the elevator.

Once the door closes, Tenn trails behind Gaku, not really helping so much as becoming a straggling attachment as Gaku cleans the remains of food and drink from the night, one hand loosely tangled in the back of Gaku’s shirt.

Once he’s dumped the trash into the kitchen, he turns, tangling a hand into Tenn’s hair. “Sleepy?” he asks, fondness lacing his tone, mellowed out by whatever alcoholic beverage Ryuu had brought over for the evening.

Tenn shakes his head and Gaku hums in response, “Movie then?”

“As long as it’s not some shitty drama.”  
  
“I don’t own shitty dramas. That’s you, you stupid brat,” Gaku replies mildly, even as he’s sliding over to his collection, slipping a disc into the player before he settles down next to Tenn on the couch.

They’re a good half hour into the movie, a rather artistic piece that Tenn recalls Yuki recommending to Gaku, before he finds himself shifting closer to Gaku, curling into the taller man’s side, and thankfully finding no protest.

Gaku is warm and Tenn is comfortable, so he’s caught off guard when he feels Gaku shift, looking up to meet sharp grey eyes, and the barest brush of their foreheads. “This is fine, right?”

“Yes,” Tenn breathes before he’s pulling Gaku down to press their lips together in a soft kiss, once, twice, before they’re pulling away. They stare at each other another moment more before Tenn flushes as he burrows himself down lower against Gaku’s side, feeling more than hearing Gaku laugh, as his arm winds around Tenn’s shoulders, settling there for the rest of the movie.  


 

* * *

 

[ 22/18 ]

 

They fight. Most of the time, it’s hardly serious, and Ryuu has become highly adept in diffusing their feuds.

But it still stings, when Gaku’s hot-headed passion reaches past the walls Tenn’s built up, burning at his heart. Tenn is well aware that the words that drip from his tongue are like poison, can see it in the way Gaku recoils, the way he lashes back out at Tenn.

Their loss at Black and White shakes them all to their core, but brings them closer together. They (read: Gaku and Tenn) still fight, still argue, but there’s more understanding in the way they do it, and even when Ryuu is gently pushing them apart, there’s only warmth in his eyes.

TRIGGER grows closer, admittedly more on Tenn’s side of things. Gaku and Ryuu, he knows, he discovers, have been closer since TRIGGER’s beginning. Perhaps it was their age, but Tenn knows that for the most part it was his own doing, his own refusal to see them as anything more than business partners, even if it was for his own emotional well-being.

 _So much for not getting closer_ , is Tenn’s only thought as he listens to quiet murmurs as Gaku sends Ryuu off at the door, Tenn curled up on Gaku’s couch, having been dozing off since an hour before.

There’s the click of the lock, and soft footsteps before the edge of the couch dips. Tenn doesn’t react, and is really kind of glad he doesn’t when a moment later, Gaku’s hand is in his hair, gently running through fine strands, hesitating along the line of Tenn’s jaw before it’s gone along with the lightest press of lips against his forehead.

 

* * *

 

[ 21/17 ]

 

Tenn takes back everything he could have possibly thought about loving Yaotome Gaku.

They’re constantly at each other's throats, from someone being a beat behind in practice, to their very morals as musicians, and more days than not, Tenn wants to strangle Gaku. In a platonically loving matter, of course.

And truly, he believes he’s learning to love TRIGGER with his being. The night they met, he fell in love with TRIGGER, the mere idea of it, but now he’s starting to believe there is no other path than the one with Gaku and Ryuu at his sides.

 

* * *

 

[ 20/16 ]

  

TRIGGER’s formation is a story of a cold night and a love of music.

Tenn’s love for Gaku starts with cold grey eyes and a love for music. And Gaku would say much the same.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I sat on this fic for 9 months. 9 whole month, this is basically my chILD  
> I love GakuTenn please end me, this is like, maybe 75% worthy of how much I love them...
> 
> Beta by [Seigyokus](http://archiveofourown.org/users/seigyoku) !! Her comments on my original doc are pure gold, lemme tell you.


End file.
